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Below are the 25 most recent journal entries.

	2005.03.09  16.37 **ANNOUNCEMENT** NEW LIVEJOURNAL AND AIM NAME LJ - one_avocado AIM - one avocado That is all. Please make the nessicary changes in your records. Add me back, bitches. Peace~

	2005.03.07  16.46 A MAC SCARE! So lately the trusty old eMac has been acting up. 1. iChat was crunked the fuck up. Rather than sorting contacts by availability an alphabtically...things were all garbled up in some random order. So to look to see who was on I had to scroll up and down. 2. Everytime I would download shit it was yell at me that I was runnin out of disk space. I deleted shit tons of stuff, yet I couldn't manage to free up more than a few gigs. I couldn't figure out where all my space was going. So finally I decided to just abck everything up and format the bitch. That would fix it... So I started dividing up my music into files of around 700MB to burn to CD. I had 11 CDs worth of music, and only 8 CDs. Great. However while going through my music I started deleting shit I didn't want anymore (annoyng bands, icky pop songs, and gay clubby shit all from back in the day.) I came upon my iTunes library file. Which contained a copy of EVERY SINGLE SONG I've EVER played. 8 gigs worth. Just SITTING there. All the mp3s I care about are in their own file....so why have duplicates. I didn't really know they were there. So after deleting that bullshit, and all the songs I didn't want...suddenly I went from being dangerously close to a full 40 gig hard drive to having 16 gigs free. Whew. As far as iChat goes I'd fucked with the settings and couldn't find the problem. I apparently didn't try hard enough because within a few minutes Brian suggested I look under the VIEW menu. And BAM...there it was. "Sort Buddies by Availability" I'm dumb. Clearly with all these problems on my mac I couldn't tell ANYONE. I had to confide in another mac user..if this got out years of hard work defending macs would go down the drain. As it turns out it wasn't my mac at all. It was me. I had blindly changed some settings...fucking things up. Good ol' eMac just followed orders. It was just loyally sitting therer thinking, "Hey what are you..what...I...are you sure...ok. Whatever...you know best Mr. Smartstuff." Clearly I've learned my lesson. All this was VERY upsetting...and suddenly all is well. I feel MUCH better about everything. Thank you Brian. Mood: relieved Music: Interpol...on IndiePopRocks

	2005.03.04  11.22 Holy God! I GOT THE CO-OP JOB!!! They called this morning to offer me the FT Cashier position in IC. I still have the Deli interview tomorrow in CV, so we'll see. But either way I clearly have a job. This has made my effing month. *GLEE* Mood: excited

	2005.03.03  12.42 "I want to be eccentric." "Have you met yourself?" SO many bits of goodness. Sears Optical offered me a position. I told her I'd call Monday morning with an answer. While I'm supposed to hear about the cashier position at the CoOp in Iowa City tomorrow afternoon, the Deli manager for the Coralville store called me today eagerly wanting to set up an interview. (Of the positions I applied for, this is the one I wanted most) So I have that Saturday. I was semi-confident about the cashier thing...and now with another interview I hope to god I get ONE of those job. If I got a job at the CoOp I'd fucking die. There *will* be a party if it happens. So here's what I got. While I've only been offered ONE of these jobs...I'm still weighing the pros and cons. Sears: - Dress code. (Slacks and dress shirt...no lipring) + Full Benifets, including free glasses and eye exams. + Probably higher pay...although I don't actually know what they pay. CoOp: + Benifets as well. + Little/no dress code...keep the lip ring, option to dread hair. + Effing sweet...I've wanted to work there since I moved. - Potentially less pay. So basically what I'm saying is if I get a job at the CoOp I'm taking it. I know that, and you know that. *crosses fingers* So I'm in Ankeny now and am going back tomorrow night to go to my interview. I think mom is coming back with me. She want to make a purchase while there...also just to come hang out. I think we're chilling with Layne...which will be fab. So basically it's a good day. Peace~ Mood: Fuckin Jazzed

	2005.02.28  01.23 well I saw you with your hands above your head spinning around, trying not to look down but you did and you fell hard on the ground then you stumbled around for a good ten minutes and I said I'd never seen anyone look so dumb before and you laughed and said I still know how to turn you on though and I probably forgot to tell you this like that time I forgot to tell you about the scar remember how uncomfortable that made you feel? see you're not what I expected but you're the only one who knows how to handle me I hope you can forgive me for that time when I put my hand between your legs and said it was small beause its really not at all I guess there's just a part of me that likes to bring you down Just to keep you around because the day you realize how amazing you are you're gonna leave me you're the only one who drags me kicking and screaming through fast dreams you're the only one who knows exactly what I mean well I saw you with your hands above your head spinning around, trying not to look down but you did and you fell hard on the ground Mood: enamored

	2005.02.23  15.52 My new favorite words are "Phantasmagoria" and "Ass Hat". So a job update. Had my interview at Vortex which I think went really well. It was a lot more heavy (that is, more career-like) than I thought it would be. I have to, literally, interview with ALL the employees prior to employment. I had three interviews yesterday alone. All went well. I can be charming when I want to be...and I think I was successful in charming them. We'll see. Also, I have my interview at Sears Optical tomorrow. Selling glasses. I think I could do that...and I would imagine benifits would be involved...AT LEAST glasses. And considering mine are like 3 or 4 years old, ugly and I haven't had an eye exam since then...this could be a good thing. I had to go buy dress clothes yesterday for the interview which was an obnoxious endevour. I DON'T do dress clothes. I look completely out of place in them. Not ok. But whatever. It's part of this whole job thing. But the BEST news of all is I have an interview on Monday at the CoOp. Which is totally exciting. Granted it's for a cashier position, which of the 3 I applied fo it was the least fun...but clearly with th CoOp I'll take anything they offer. I really hope I get it. Since I interviewed for the same job back in December and didn't get it...maybe I'll have a better chane this time? (Optimistic thinking) Again, we'll see. So this is all true. Going home tomorrow to stay a night and bring Andrew back here for the weekend. Excitement. I think that's about it. Peace~ Mood: optimistic

	2005.02.20  01.27 If you want to see a movie that will make you think, keep you on the edge, and has brilliant writing and direction... ...don't fucking see the Grudge. If I waste another two hours on some movie that should have ended up in the dumpster to begin with I swear to god heads will roll. Mood: FUCKING WHAT THE FUCK

	2005.02.17  12.55 Things are lookin' up. So I forgot to mention the other day when I listed the places I'd applied to that I had also applied at Vortex downtown. (For those of you notfrom The IC, Vortex is a new age gift store. Lots of fun jewelry, rocks, crystals, cards, books and cultural decor) Anyway I applied there. Their application was interesting. One page was the normal name, address, former employers, etc. But the next page was questions like: What is your favorite color, food, album/artist, place, etc... If you could meet anyone dead or alive who would it be? What would you talk about? What do you do in your spare time? The kinds of questions I'd ask someone if I were hiring someone. I mean sure employment history is important...but I would want to know WHO they are too. When I asked for the app they said they weren't hiring. The last question on the app just asked for final comments. I wrote, "You say you're not hiring, but I assure you, give me a chance and you will be glad you did." Apparently it worked. I have an interview on Tuesday. I'm still really hoping to hear back from the Co-Op too. Even if this is a crappy paying, part time job it's something, and if nothing else it's made my day a more optimistic one. Also this morning I got a Valentine from my grandparents with $20. So that also made me feel special. Mood: hopeful

	2005.02.14  17.36 "Stop staring at my tits." 'What?!?!" "Nothing..." So yes. Happy Suck Day to all. Or as the Brothers Skinner have dubbed it, "Single People Awareness Day". Nice. I spend the whole day looking for a job. In addition to applying at the fanastic nursery in Iowa City and Mr Movies, today I applied at... *Ralston Creek (Some obnoxious looking furniture store) *Sears Optical *New Pioneer Co-Op (for three different positions, thus three different applications) *The Bread Garden *American Eagle *shudders* But of all the retail stores there, American Eagle makes me gag the least. Bear in mind that I cannot yet apply anywhere that requires a drug test (not right now anyway) or a resume (IE Mediacom, Qwest, there's a job in Habitat for Humanity I want to apply for, among MANY others listed in the papers/online) because since I've never needed one, I don't have one. I plan to tackle that tonight. I need to at least start the FAFSA online too. Both "adventures" I could use assistance from Angela on...and since she's coming this weekend...it works out nicely. Speaking of which...yes Angela is coming to visit. This makes me extremely happy. I think we both could use this time together GREATLY right now. While out and about (especially downtown) it became apparent that the world to CRAWLING with couples. Enough to make this kid sick. This is probably a great time for people who have someone (Can you imagine the percent of the population that will be getting laid tonight???) but for those of us who are single it's hellish. Makes a guy feel extra alone. Even the other night at the porn store with Andrew (My wasn't THAT an adventure...helping his room mate pick out a buttplug...good times....) reminded me I'm alone. All those people on the TVs and boxes are getting action. Why not me? haha I mean to be perfectly honest I don't need "action". I'll spare you the emotional outpouring, but sufficed to say it's not the SEX I desire nessicarily. (But man, wouldn't it be nice) Thankfully, Andrew sent me home with a selection from his "library" of sorts to keep me company. "School Boy Crush" made my first night back in my apartment by myself a bit more tolerable to say the least. Being home for like a week and a half did good things for my emotional state of being. Leaving to come back did not. So as a result I'm tossing around the idea of going and getting on at a temp agency there and just chilling in Ankeny until like April...when it's warmer and things in Iowa City start gettng more fun. This sitting endlessly in my apartment alone all winter is getting to me. It was nice to be around people all the time. I doubt I'll go stay there...I need to stay here. (I can do this) It just means I need to get out a lot more. I keep saying that... I think Bosco has a cold. He keeps sneezing...and he's acting kind of grumpy. Do they make Tylonol Kitty Cold and Sinus? I saw Shelby this afternoon standing by her apartment waiting for her sister. I pulled in to say hello. She didn't seem thrilled to see me, but that could just be me. ***If anyone knows of, or hears about, any job openings LET ME KNOW....obviously.*** Mood: GAH! Music: Keith's CD.

	2005.02.14  12.45 Happy Fucking Suck Day. Mood: Bitter

	2005.02.06  01.00 "There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats." - Albert Schweitzer

	2005.02.05  23.39 "Last year I shot my own turkey for Thanksgiving. I didn't think it would be fun, but it was. It was fun holding the shot gun in my hands and BLAM BLAM! And everyone in the grocery store was staring at me...yeah it was an experience."

	2005.02.05  14.56 Bosco had a new home! So after considering my circumstances...and knowing how important it was to me to adopt Bosco...as well as how important it was that he have a good home a certain kind someone sponsered my adoption. ♥ ♥ ♥ So while I'm still out of the job...I now have a purrrfect companion. ( Bosco Boscovich ) Bosco is so cool and groovy. He cried in the box on the way home but as soon as I got home I put the bo on my bed and opened it, letting him get out when he was ready. He walked out of thew box and walked around the apartment like he'd been here all his life. Within five minutes he was in my lap purring and rubbing all over me. He's SO affectionate. Im so jazzed to have him. Apparenty he'd been at the shelter since September 20...so I'm glad he finally has a good home. YAY! And congratulations to my new friend Layne as well on the adoption of HER kitty today from the same shelter. It's a kitty, kitty, day. On a funny sidenote...I went to Wal Mart to pick up all the nessesitiesfor Bosco and when I checked out Adam McTallhomo's friend the BedWetter checked me out. He looked over everything I was buying (litter, pan, cat food, cat brush, toys, food bowl, etc) and when he looked back at me I smiled and said, "I got a dog today." Funny...I thought. He smiled and asked what kind. When I explained I was joking he felt dumb and we didn't really talk anymore. haha Mood: Fuckin' Jazzed

	2005.02.04  13.31 86 Bosco. I just lost my fucking job. I'm at a loss for words. I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm so disappointed and crushed I can't even stop crying. Mood: crushed

	2005.02.04  11.10 My application at the shelter was accepted!!! I'm going to adopt Bosco Boscovich at 4:00 this afternoon! EXCITEMENT!!!! Mood: KITTY!

	2005.02.03  00.38 Have you seen the new Hellen Keller quarter? Well, have you HEARD abou it??? I need you. Oh wait. Nevermind. See ya! ...thanks. Also I started talking to a boy online tonight. Puts himself at a 1.5 on my famous "Scale of one to gay". Likes guys dislikes gay guys, likes deathcab for cutie, is very attractive and funny...and has a boyfriend. A swing and a miss. Meh. I've decided to get a cat from the Iowa City animal shelter. I thouht it would like $100 to adopt a cat like it is in Des Moines...but it's only $25. And since I haven't had any luck ith the newspapers...this seems a good course of action. I perused the website tonight, looked at profiles for cats they have. Found one named King that looks like a cool cat. I'll go tomorrow to check that out. I've been making bank at work lately. For instance tonight in the lounge I made $50 from 4-8. I'll take it. However I've been working a jillion hours so I'm exausted. I went on a date(ish) with Christopher. Dinner at Mondo's followed by an excellent concert at Hancher. He invited me to his recital in a couple of weeks, which Angela and I will together be attending. Angela is coming to stay with me in like two weekends. I'm so excited. I have so much to show her. Plus I very much need to have Angela-Adam time. It will be a good thing for both of us. Sara called me tonight but my phone was on silent. She said she was watching the State of the Union or something and she thought of me...and how nauseus I would be listening to it. She said she wanted to hang out. I could have fallen on the floor. The time Sara actually calls to make plans I miss the call. Hmm. I watched in one night Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas and Donnie Darko. Both of which made my week. I really, really enjoyed both films. And if I needed yet another reason that Johnny Depp is amazing, Fear and Loathing was it. I can't wait until next Halloween...his charactor in that movie was amazing. I should hang out with Rhonda more. Today Jerome did some ridiculous dance and I told him he should be on broadway. I asked if he could do jazz hands and face...and showed him what I meant. He struck a pose so amazing, so uncharactoristic, so hysterical I laughed my tits off and made him reinact it at the shift meeting. Wow. Nothing else is coming to mind...so this is it. Peace~ Mood: lethargic

	2005.01.24  23.50 i smell like mookiedoodles

	2005.01.19  14.29 Why my friends rock my face off... I'm cleaning my apartment...in my scundies...and suddenly there's a knock at the door. Whenever there's a knock at my door its scares the christ out of me. I think the worst...it can't be good news. No one ever comes over to my house, especially not unannounced. So I think it's my landlord so I hid my mice...or maybe it's the fuzz, man...who knows. I threw on clothes and answered and it was the UPS man. Bringing me a care package of sorts from Mary, Stephen, Angela and Andrew. I cried. They all knew how rough the last few weeks have been. I havent been feeling myself. Very homsick, and very lonely. So they packaged up a bunch of paint, brushes, a palette, pencils, a sketchpad and four canvases..along with notes from each of them. This was the single most amazing gesture I've encountered. From he bottom of my heart thank you. You have no idea how much that means to me. Thank you. Also while on the note of how I've been feling lately I've decided that somethin that would make living alone a little less lonly is to have a companion. And while I can't technically have pet in my apartment, I've decided to get a cat. So if anyone hears of a kitty who needs a home, let me know. I'll be checking the papers. Hopefuly I can find an older (like over a year old), neutered, male. I think it will be a good thing. Peace~ Mood: loved

	2005.01.16  14.59 Mmmmmm...cheeseball. (And it's not even Christmas!!!) Small jar dried beef, chopped... 4oz Can black olives, chopped... 4oz green olives, chopped... 2 packages cream cheese... mix together...spread on Ritz crackers..and loooooooove life! Mood: Neeeeeerrrrrd!!!

	2005.01.16  00.45 This is where you prove that the world IS meant for people like me...for people like us. Tonight was bad. I'm not ok with the way things are going. As someone who has as many feelings as I do...they're often disregarded entirely. I was fine. I went to the party. Semi-drama took place. I attempted to explain said drama to someone, which in turn created new drama. B kissed A...then C kissed A, which A *REALLY* didn't need.... People were drunk. I was drunk. I had to leave...so I walked home, in lieu of driving. It's currently 7 degrees out... Angela's not answering.... Nor is Jess...or Jilla...or Sara... This all coming together to teach me the following lessons... 1. Trust no one but yourself...they don't understand you, nor are they looking out for you. 2. Never trust yourself...you don't know anything. 3. Your heart lies to you, Adam. You're masochistic...you just don't think you are. 4. People are supportive so long as they're not involved...this includes you. 5. Think of an ideal way for your life to go...settle for no less than your ideal...do not change your ideal. 6. Realize that your ideal is nothing short of fantasy. Keep dreaming, bucko. 7. No one is watching out, no one will follow you when you leave, and at best you will always be number two. Let me make the announcement...here and now. I AM *NOT* THE GAY GUY. I AM *NOT* JUST LIKE YOUR LITTLE BROTHER. WHAT YOU THINK OF ME IS PROBABLY TRUE, DON'T THINK I'M ANY STRONGER THAN THAT. I'M NOT A PLAY THING AND I DON'T EASILY FORGET. WHAT YOU DO DOES PLAY A PART IN HOW I TREAT YOU...GOOD OR BAD. Let me also say that I am WASTED and it's taken m at least 25 minutes to write this...and I'm either talking drunken blather or am speaking more truthfully than I ever have...you be the judge. You said you wanted something true...something real. It doesn't get any more real than this This it the point where I end this dramatic view of things, and retire myself to bed. Hopefully I will look at this, and all other situations plagueing me at this point, more objectively tomorrow. At the same time, may I see things as realistically as I do now, tomorrow. I'm not sure who to trust. Me now...the cynical, "realistic" self. Or me tomorrow...the sober, chronically optimistic self. I need to be more careful. Not everyone deserves my trust, and admiration. Mood: cynical

	2005.01.12  02.47 "She can only get off alone...and with a q-tip." Tonight was Chili's bar crawl... Highlights: 1. Seeing one manager there, while the others were PISSED that we had a bar crawl AND put Chili's name on the shirts. 2. Having someone dare Shan and I to kiss, but both of us opting not to. 3. Rhiannon discovering my harboring some sort of "thing" for Aunt Shan even though I NEVER said I did... 4. I made out with fun bags. She asked if we could so she could feel my tongue ring...when I said I didn't have one, it didn't seem as important, so we did anyway. 5. Making frends with some girl named Sara because, while drunk, I maintain my being a gentleman...and she seemed to appreciate that. 6. Chris Ford, the closet homo, asking me if I was a top or bottom. And me almost punching him in the face. 7. Being questioned about my sexuality by SEVERAL people...none of which mattered. 8. Ryan announcing to me no less than 15 times that we should hang out more since we both share taste in music. 9. Rhiannon signing "BROADZILLA" on my belly with a magic marker with an arrow towards my naughty bits. 10. That is all. Now...Cmpbells Chicken Noodle Soup...and bed. Peace~ Mood: Kinda drunk.

	2005.01.05  19.48 My pinky finger is freezing...the rest of my hand is fine. I'm so bored right now I could die. I called in sick to work...in addition to not feeling all that great, I simply didn't want to brave the storm to go make $10 and be sent home early. I sat here all day in my PJs watching the first 14 episodes of Arrested Development that Daniel kindly loaned me. Just a few minutes ago I thought it would be a good idea to go rent some movies...maybe get a pizza or something. I got so far as starting my car and began cleaning it off when I looked around and decided it was a dumb idea. There's a lot more happening out there than what I can see out my living room window. The storm has just continued to get worse...and it's expected to keep snowing. Which means I'm not particularly giddy to go to work tomorrow. While it would suck it would beat being cooped up here going stir-crazy. I wish I had someone to spend this evening with that wouldn't involve one party risking their life driving to the other. Well...I guess I do have someone a few blocks away, but she's not answering my call. I *really* just want to be home right now, in Ankeny. The pizza still sounds good, but I'd feel like an asshole expecting someone to deliver it to me...even if I did tip like $10. I wish dealers delivered...it's hard to feel bored and lonely when you have weed, pizza and many episodes of Mr Show to keep you company. Stay safe, everyone. Peace~ Mood: Bored out of my damn mind.

	2005.01.03  19.49 Why are all the flags flying at half mast? Did I miss something?

	2005.01.03  10.43 "They say you are what you watch...remember when your favorite show as a kid was 'Big Fat Slug'?" I guess Ankeny cancelled school today. I wish they cancelled Chili's. Also I finally watched Napoleon Dynamite...I think I was on of the last people around here to see it. Am I the only one who thinks it was a terrible movie??? I mean EVERYONE is talking about it, and how great it was. I thought it was a waste of two hours...I guess I don't see the allure. Work...then laundry. Woot. Peace~ Mood: cynical

	2005.01.01  14.43 Last night sucked hardcore. BAD times. Today I'm nauseous... ...and I didn't even drink. Happy fucking new year. Shelby and I ended last night on really bad terms, and I'm not down with that. I'm a double in ToGo today. This morning when I left at 12:30 (along with half the servers) we had like five tables in the whole place...the first of which came in at like 11:30. D-E-A-D.Hopefully that trend will continues into the evening. Today is Gay's last day and that makes my heart cry. She's like a second mom to me. It's sad to see her go. I'm not ok with this. Peace~ Mood: What the fuck ever.